Two Unique Observations on Cell Phones and Driving

Hi Ariel,

I’m not going to bore you with statistics about cell phones and driving. This has probably been pounded into you. Telling you stuff you already know is insulting to a person of your intellect. That sounds trite, but in your case, it is true. Instead, I want to share a couple of observations that don’t seem to get a lot of attention.

As you know, I drive around in circles in the city bus for the Transit. Driving around an average of 8 hours per day in an elevated seat with tons of windows allows me to witness many lapses in driving behavior. Some funny, most not. Every once in a while those lapses are my own.

On three separate occasions I’ve seen a person talking on his/her cell phone while running a stop sign or a red light. So what, right? People do that all the time, but here is the kicker that people don’t often think about: These people have no idea that they had run through the intersection and they continue thinking their skills are just fine- in fact probably better than average. Their perception of reality informs them that they can talk and drive with no problem, while reality begs to differ. Well, at least my perception of reality begs to differ.

Ironically, they probably comment how stupid other people’s driving is. What’s more is if you verbally pointed out their unsafe driving mannerisms, they would probably them entrench themselves further into their driving-ability delusion. People don't like being told they suck.

The point I’m making is that what matters is your perception. If I could sit these three drivers down and show them a video of their potentially lethal driving skills, they would hopefully get an awakening and not do it again.

But I doubt that would happen. They are used to doing what they are doing and may slow down for a while, but will likely pick up their original behavior. They might think that if they just tried a little harder, that it would be OK. Or they just can’t seem to let that phone ring to voice mail for some reason.

People don’t want to change. They want to do what they want to do NOW and screw everyone else. They also don’t want to readjust their version of reality to a more accurate one. Realizing you are not as good as you thought you were is quite discomforting.

Well, guess what? We are usually not as good as we think we are. The sooner you get used to that concept, the better off you will be. (This is an excellent example of how tacit knowledge can be your friend or your enemy.) We are great at deluding ourselves; at least until we t-bone another car. Hard to ignore busted ribs and a smashed-in face. Sadly, if we don't re-evaluate our ideas from time to time, natural consequences are sometimes the only thing that can effect a change in our perceptions.

You don’t need to wait for that to happen. Give your perceptions a good hard look and see driving for what it is. Realize that you are using lethal force every time you drive, and anything that takes your resources away from driving increases the likelihood of that lethal force getting out of control.

You wouldn’t take a gun out and start shooting with only a margin of consideration for others. You would make sure that the area behind your target was clear- every time. You would make sure your finger was off the trigger until you were ready to shoot- every time. You would never point the gun at anyone whom you did not intend to shoot- every time. You would give your gun your full attention- every time.

Same for driving. Lethal force is lethal force. A car can kill just like a gun can and you need give this lethal force on four wheels the same consideration as you would a gun.

Give your driving your full attention- every time. Even if that means diving into your tacit knowledge and making changes there. But not while you are driving! Save that for later.

The other observation I would like to point out is that I didn’t grow up with cell phones. If I needed to contact someone, I waited by the phone, listened to the answering machine, or went without. And guess what? My world didn’t end! In my younger years, I didn’t even have an answering machine, yet life seemed no less bearable. Sometimes I used a CB, but they were highly localized especially in the mountains, severely restricting their use; but they were fun!

I did not drive around on a daily basis thinking, “Man, I need to get to a phone. I simply can’t wait until I get home to see who has been calling me. I better speed up and disregard my surroundings so that I can get to my ever-important phone calls.” Sure, there were times that getting to a phone was important and time was short, but that was uncommon. I doubt the phone calls made today are more important than the phone calls made before the advent of cell phones.

Ground yourself in a bit of reality, Hon. You are not so important that you must disregard the safety of others so that you are not inconvenienced for even one minute. I have had the fortune to live a life where I was forced to have some sense of delayed gratification. Today we have far less of that. We have become spoiled and throw a fit when we don’t get what we want right now; this holds true no matter what age one is. I have seen many fifty-year-olds acting like spoiled little brats when they consider having to pull over to answer the phone.

Do you want control of your life, or will you allow yourself to become mindlessly obedient to your phone? Do you want to make the tremendous efforts it will take to view your driving habits in a more realistic way, or will you keep taking comfort in your vehicular delusions? Texting and driving is only one of many ways you can allow yourself to become distracted.

I want to keep you safe until we meet again. It would be a shame if we could never be reunited because you wanted to avoid playing phone tag with your best friend.

Love You Oodles and Gobs,
Dad :)